My recent trip to a Trappist Monastery

Last week, I went on my annual monastery retreat. This is the second time that I attended St. Joseph’s Abbey in Spencer, MA. I have so much to say, but I’ll reserve most of it to my journal and conversations with friends, for now.

When I decided to come again to the monastery, I did so because I wanted to be more fully immersed in the monastic/contemplative tradition. It’s been my conviction since I was a student at Nyack College that the disciplines of solitude, silence and prayer are essential to the life of a follower of Jesus. Jesus himself modeled these disciplines for us. In addition, I’ve been interested in the Desert Fathers for over 7 years. More recently (in the last 2-3 years), I’ve been drawn to monasticism.

So, on this visit, I wanted to get another taste for the rhythms of the monks, because I believe that the rhythm they maintain is essential to living life well, and becoming the kind of leader, husband, brother, son, father, etc. God longs for me to be.

Here’s a snippet of my reflections from the week:

I spent a good deal of time conversing with two young men who have entered a communal order called “The Little Brothers of St. Francis.” This is an order that is committed to the contemplative life among the poorest of the poor in Boston. Their lives consist of fixed hours of prayer, as well as acts of kindness and compassion to the homeless, drug addicts and people on the margins of society. These two guys entered the order in the low 20’s. One is 29 and the other is 31. In my conversations with them, I was incredibly inspired by them. Here are some of the things we talked about:

I asked one of the brothers why he decided to enter this order. His response? I was compelled to follow a God that loves the poor. That’s all. When he said this, he said it with so much joy and conviction. To be part of the order, they must take three vows. A vow of chastity, poverty and obedience. All of these vows can seem antiquated and naïve, but they live them out with incredible humility and spiritual courage.

I asked Brother Joseph what his greatest challenge was being in this order. He immediately responded, “chastity!” He mentioned that it can get difficult at times because he thinks about what being married and having a family would be like, but he said he has been captured by Jesus and is satisfied following him this way.

I asked one of the brothers what they typically read. After a short pause, Joseph said, well, I read comic books and the Bible. That was not the response I was looking for, but that response showed me how human these two guys were.

I asked Brother Labre (who was born and raised in Lancaster, PA) if he’s ever been afraid to serve among the poorest of the poor. He said that initially he was very scared, but one day, a short, homeless woman pulled him to the side, sat him on the curb and said, “I notice that you are afraid of us here. You don’t have to be. We are people too. We just want to be loved.” Labre said it was like God was speaking to him. From that point on, he has served these people with kindness and courage.

Labre also said that when he serves among the poor, his goal is not to “save them, preach at them or come with some kind of revelation from God.” He said, when I go out in the streets, all I want to do is bring the peaceful presence of God, even if I have nothing to say.

They also spoke of the joy of hiddenness in following Christ. In a world that is about self-promotion and million dollar marketing techniques, I found this idea of hiddenness to be refreshing and impossible. I’m still wrestling with what it means to embrace hiddenness in the context of my life.

To sum up my retreat, here’s one of my journal entries. I wrestled with this the entire time, and continue to do so:

6/9/10 at Spencer Abbey…7:55am

It’s 7:55am and I’m looking out the window, listening to the silence and trying to embrace the love of God. This week, two sides of me have been wrestling with each other. One side is my contemplative side. The other is my pragmatic side. Contemplation versus pragmatism. I’m afraid that my pragmatism wins out most of the time. By pragmatism, I’m referring to the spiritual life being a means to an end. With this mindset, every scripture I read, prayer, hymn, etc., needs a category to fit in. If categories don’t emerge, these practices feel useless. These categories lead to questions like, “how can this make me a better leader? Or how can I do this better? How can this fit in my next sermon? The questions are incessant. Spiritual practices become a means to achieve the image my ego has constructed apart from the grace of God.

By contemplation, I’m referring to the spiritual truth that I have already arrived, so to speak. Thomas Merton taught that monks in the monastery have no where to go. He wasn’t speaking geographically. He said this because they have already arrived in a sense. They have abandoned themselves to the love of God and have arrived at a place where they perpetually live in it.

Contemplation is the simple recognition that I am already in the bosom of God and I’m here to enjoy his presence. Pragmatism would have me believe that the prayers, scriptures, songs, etc get me to God. Contemplation says that these things are done out of a recognition that I’m already in the presence of God.

Lord, help me to enjoy you.